So, I'm really beginning to think that I'm just not well-suited for Capoeira. Practice wasn't horrible, although I still get tired and out of breath too quickly and I continue to have trouble with maintaining my balance on the kicks. Then, we did roda, the sparring circle. Except, it's not really sparring in the sense of most martial arts. It's kind of like a breakdance competition in some ways except that you do direct attacks at the other person, albeit without much force behind them and frequently intentionally kicking high when they duck. And I'm not used to that. Every other style I've done, you're not trying to hurt the other person, but you have to attack with intent. Here, I just can't seem to get the hang of it. Some of it's the inability to manage both the speed and the control. Even when I'm not directing any force into my kicks, it still has a fair amount of mass to it and to get my kicks above waist-high, I have to accelerate it a fair amount. If I try to take it slow, I just wind up getting tagged continuously in the ring and I'm told to do more. If I bring up the speed, I risk accidentally clocking someone. And when people jump in with a kick, my natural reaction is to defend myself and reflexes usually don't listen to the control side nearly as well. And there's other aspects too. I just don't get a lot of the movements. To paraphrase Zorba the Greek, "I think too much, boss." And when I just relax and let myself roll with it, that's when my combat instincts take over. Lastly, my endurance is lousy and that works against me for this style. There's a lot of extra movement in the style, dodging and flourishes, and I just can't do those if I want to be able to breathe when the attack comes in. My teacher once told me that the style emphasizes dodging over blocking or taking hits because you have to be ready to fight the next day. But, for me, if I try to do the dodges, I can't fight the guy I'm against now. Except, again, I'm thinking fighting and this is not fighting! Och! But the lack of endurance is hurting me on this issue too because as I get more tired, I drop further into my combat reflexes and it's harder to get my aching muscles to halt a kick in mid-motion because the other person forgot to dodge.

So, what happened today was that I was aiming a front kick at the guy and he dropped into a crouch. I don't know whether my foot dropped because I was trying to re-chamber to avoid over-extending or if Ijust automatically tracked the moving target, but I caught him lightly on the chin with my foot. Hitting people on the ground is a big no-no here (although I've never gotten a good answer for what one is supposed to do when the other person goes to ground), at least if you're still upright. I didn't mean to hit him at that. But it was just the topping of a night where my control was just not adequate. And, it may have been because I was already feeling down on myself for having accidentally tagged him, but I got the impression that no one believed me when I said it was an accident. Or maybe they just felt that it was an accident that would not have happened if I'd been adequately skilled. I don't know. Either way, this whole thing has got me a bit in the dumps. I'm going to keep going, of course — I signed a contract with them and I'm not going to throw away money — but I may have to make some decisions once the contract is up as to whether I want to continue. Maybe I'll try the Krav Maga school in the area.... won't do anything for removing combat reflexes, but maybe I'll take more to it. I really want to enjoy Capoeira. It's just... not agreeing with me.

Currently The Falcon at the Portal (Amelia Peabody, Book 11) By Elizabeth Peters see related